Well, I’ve really kind of dropped the ball on the ‘write at least one post a week’ resolution, haven’t I? Meh, oh well. So things around here have been all kinds of… interesting. For a while everything was going pretty well. There was always some kind of issue, like losing my car, but then I got my tax return 2 weeks later and bought another. Or having to pin Erik down to get him to do something, but he’s getting better. But there was never anything too major.

But now, of course, we have the mother of all domestic problems– getting evicted. As far as problems with your residence is concerned, that’s pretty much the worst, short of losing your home in a disaster. That would be much worse. Anyway. So I left Merry Maids on the first of March because I was making roughly $50 a week, and frankly, that just does not cut it, no matter how you look at it.

I ended up using up the rest of my Paid Family Leave (Thank you,  oh great state of California, for your occasionally spot-on social welfare programs) and had 6 glorious weeks of going to school and doing alot of sewing.

Then, the PFL ran out so I figured I would go on cash aid because it would be far too difficult to find a job around here where I could work the hours I needed and still go to school, not to mention have enough time at home so the buffin didn’t forget what I look like. I started the process of filing for cash aid (if you’ve ever done it, you know that one would much rather pull their toenails out with a plier and some rubbing alcohol)than ever deal with those people).

Then a lady I used to work for, who just so happens to be a co-bridesmaid in Chase’s aunt Mindy’s wedding (I too, am a bridesmaid. And I get to make all the dresses. Eep.) offered me a job out of nowhere, working at a care home for the elderly in a town about 30 minutes from where I live. Seeing as how I utterly loathe any sort of interaction with the oh so *charming* folks down at the county welfare office, I accepted right away.

I work the nox (graveyard) shift, so I have time to go to school and spend time with Chase, and I don’t really have to get a babysitter as I have either been having my brother crash on my couch (and I use the term ‘couch’ loosely) or I drop him off at Erik’s and Erik drops him off back home on his way to work in the morning. Win-win, right?

Well, almost. I told the (completely asinine, inept and woefully useless) people down at my apartment complex’s office that I was starting a new job and while my rent would be quite late, it would still be paid within the same month. They told me that it would be fine. Then, on the 15th, I get served some lovely paperwork by another complete asshole who wakes me (and Chase) up at around 8:30 in the morning on a day  when I had just went to bed after coming home from work at 6:30. He looked like some piece of trash they found begging for change downtown. All scruffy and dirty and completely lacking in respect. He rang the doorbell multiple times, waking up Chase. Which, by the way, is a sure fire way to make me want to strangle a person. Even if I were sitting next to the door I wouldn’t have had time enough to open it before he rang it 4 or 5 times. I was in bed of course, had to grab my robe and glasses and stumble out to the living room.

Then the jack ass had the audacity to ask if he had waken me up. I wanted to punch him. Then he tried to talk to me like a 4 year old, so I grabbed the papers out of his hand and slammed the door in his face. I will not be talked down to by a useless dreg on society who has nothing better to do than liquor himself up and pander paperwork for an organization of such low grade that they have to hire transients to serve crap for them.

Anyway. So now they’re trying to take me to court to ‘recover’ their payment, which, a) not going to work because I don’t get paid until Friday, and b) is a pathetic cover for the fact that they just want me to leave. My mom has the exact same problem, and she actually did try to pay her rent, and they refused it. When she asked them what they expected her to do if they wouldn’t take her money, they told her that she could find a new place to live. Assholes.

So because I decided to get a job rather than be a drain on society, I’m getting kicked out of my apartment. Chase and I will have to live in a studio that I will only barely be able to afford, not to mention that it will be hell because if he and I must sleep in the same room, neither of us is going to get any sleep. On top of that, because I don’t really have the money right now, I have to stay at Mindy’s house until July (when my economic stimulus payment is getting mailed). Mindy lives in a 1 bedroom apartment. Chase and I will be staying in the dining room. This sucks. I think I’m going egg the landlord’s car when I leave. Or better yet, pay some of my brother’s friends to do it.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

I suck at life. The past month or more I have been overcome by a sort of low-grade melancholy, the likes of which I am all too familiar. It’s the precursor to what I recognize as a self-destruct. I’ve been through this over and over, and each time I figure that I can’t possibly do it again because of *insert stupid reason here*. And each time things go along just fine for a few months, a year even, but eventually the cycle repeats itself.

I have such a hard time focusing on more than one thing at once. When I do something, I pour my entire being into it, leaving very little for anything else. Unfortunately, right now, I’m somehow trying to work, go to school, and of course, take care of Chase. And I feel like I suck at all of them. I’ve been missing school and playing hooky from work without telling Frances so that I can have some time to myself. I feel like I can’t get anything done when Chase is home. And if I try, I’m already completely worn out from work or school, and it’s no use.

Every morning I wake up and lay there far longer then I ought to because I can’t face getting up. I’m so tired. All the time. No matter how much sleep I get, I just want more. On Sunday, for some asinine and thoroughly inconsiderate reason, my apartment manager decided it was a fine time to go around and harass all the residents and tell them to sweep their front porches because there had been a lot of wind during the previous week and there was all kinds of leaves and debris all over the place. This was at 8:30 in the morning. On Sunday. My only day that I don’t have to get up at 6:00am. On top of that, he rang the doorbell, waking the baby. Had I not been in my pajamas, I would have probably killed him. However, it was far too cold for that sort of thing while wearing shorts and a tank top.

On top of that, I am 2 months behind in all my bills, and have been driving around for over a month without insurance unknowingly, because Sara let the policy lapse and gave me the paperwork that the insurance company sent her in anticipation that she would continue it. Great friend, huh?

I feel so overwhelmed. It seems like lately all I do is try and avoid my problems. I hide from the world. I feel like I’m doing a terrible job at work, and at school I keep skipping my business class because it’s too early in the morning. I really need to start going or I will fail it, but I’m just so tired.


I’ve been having various issues with blogger so I switched. Same me, new name🙂

 –khatana rose